released September 21, 2015

Lyrics:

Four score and seven years ago,
I was sitting in some speakeasy in Boston,
drinking lima beans on the rocks.
It sure beats a Pina Colada,
I’ll tell ya that much.

Two score and seven years ago,
I was at the Sydney Opera House,
sipping kidney beans from a wine glass
with a bunch of goshdarned affluent winos
wearing spectacle binoculars.
It sure beats sclerosis of the liver,
old sport,
I’ll tell ya that much.

One score and three or so years ago,
it was my high school prom,
and I snuck in a flask full of fava beans,
but some flippin' rummies beat me to the punch!

Seven score and something years ago,
I was Sheriff,
sitting in a saloon somewhere,
gulping a refreshing pint of pinto beans.
It sure beats the flat, unrefrigerated beer
of the wild wild west, let me tell ya.

Once upon a score,
my name was Jackie B.,
and I was sitting in a castle,
having a drink with this Giant
who had a score to settle with me.
He was drinking Newcastle,
and I was guzzling some magic garbanzo beans.
It sure beats the blood of an Englishman.

credits

from The Beantown Teetotaler Throughout the Ages - A Single, released 21 September 2015
Abram Shaw -- Drums
Ben Shaw -- Vocals, Guitar
Devin Taylor -- Bass, vocals

Additionally,

Ananth Batni -- Trombone, vocals
Declan Enright -- Vocals

Contains a sample from the movie
"A Troll in Central Park" at the end.

Recorded at Pretty Good Studios
Summer 2015

Mixed by Ananth Batni
Produced by Knuckleberry Finn